What emotional road are you taking for the holidays?

What are your feelings about the holidays? We realize that the holidays are an important subject because they bring up so many strong feelings for people. As we approach the holidays some people are feeling joyous anticipation, while other people are feeling depressed.

So, we see there are a couple of distinctly different groups. If you’re part of the joyous group, you might have been doing your shopping in July and you have lots of plans to cook special dishes, entertain, go to events, and do all you can to savor the holidays. It’s not daunting at all. You’ll get it done and enjoy the process. 

However, maybe you, or someone you know, belongs to another group of people who are wishing the holidays would just be over because these people fall into a hole of depression. They don’t enjoy all the ‘work’ and responsibilities involved in trying to celebrate the holidays. Studies show that many people feel more depressed at Christmastime than at any other time of the year. They wish the holidays would just be over and life could return to normal again.

There’s a very interesting poem by Portia Nelson. It’s called Autobiography in Five Short Chapters. It’s about walking down the street and falling into a deep hole. We encourage you to Google it and get the original version because it can relate to many different types of behavior change. Today, we’re going to look at the five short chapters from the standpoint of moving closer to the holidays. Here goes:

Chapter I:  I’m getting closer to the holidays and falling into the deep hole of depression and feeling hopeless – but it’s not my fault. It takes a long time to find my way out.

Chapter II: I’m getting closer to the holidays. I see the deep hole of depression, but I try to ignore it. I fall in again and I’m shocked that I’m in the same place, but I don’t feel it’s my fault. Now it seems to take forever to get out.

Chapter III: I’m getting closer to the holidays. There’s a deep hole of depression and I notice it. I still fall in but now my vision is more clear and I know what’s happening. It is my fault, but I get out of it as fast as I can.

Chapter IV: I get closer to the holidays. I realize there’s a deep hole of depression there, but I get around it.

Chapter V:  As I get closer to the holidays, I take a road that avoids the deep hole of depression and instead, I take a road that leads me to more joy.

No, it’s not your fault if you have depression. It can be a serious illness. Notice in the poem that clarity supported better choices. There may be some things you can do that could help. So, let’s look at taking a different road with some ways that might make the holidays more joyful.

Remember that no time of year feels good if you don’t feel good physically. So, we suggest taking time to eat a healthy diet and avoid too much food and alcohol. Getting adequate sleep and exercise are always good for you. It’s the basics but they are so easy to overlook during busy holiday times.

Also, mentally it helps to reduce depressive tendencies when you put the whole holiday time in perspective. Recognize that you have choices. You can participate as much or as little, as you desire. If you have little children or family expectations, you still have choices. If you want to do some things or feel you are required to do them, see if you can find some parts of those activities, or the holidays in general, that are pleasant for you.

If you worry that family get-togethers will have conflict, know that many families have some disagreements. That’s normal and part of life. Family members and good friends love each other, so hopefully, there’s compassion and forgiveness if there are some misunderstandings. We know it can be stressful. It only comes once a year so if you don’t like the holidays, know they’ll soon be over and gone for another year.

What about you? We’re glad if you’re enjoying the holidays. If you’re not feeling up to celebration, we hope you’ll look at some of our suggestions to help you feel better. Also, know that prayer, meditation, and lights to fight seasonal depression can be helpful. Seek professional help if needed. We hope you’ll avoid the old road that can lead to depression and instead, take a new road to find joy during the holiday season.

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2022 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.