Scarecrows scare crows – what scares you?

What scares you and what fears have you overcome? Recently, we were at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum and saw Scarecrows in the Garden and Scarecrow Village. Scarecrows were originally designed to scare away crows but those enchanting scarecrows were definitely designed to attract and delight visitors of all ages. This got us thinking about what actually scares people and how people overcome their fears.

We asked some people we know what scares them. Common fears were “public speaking” and “heights”. One person told us that “lots of things in life are scary but you do them anyway and the fear goes away.” Someone shared she had a fear of dogs but then a little dog was temporarily staying at their home and it was whining. She had the courage to hold it to comfort it and her fear melted away.
In case you wondered, these are the top fears that are searched on Google: 1. Flying, 2. Public speaking, 3. Heights, 4. Dark, 5. Intimacy, 6. Death, 7. Failure, 8. Rejection, 9. Spiders, 10. Commitment. So, do you see any of your fears in this list?

Research shows that babies are born with two fears, the fear of loud noises and of falling. Notice how we can gain numerous fears throughout life. We all have fears but they may vary. Sometimes having fear is very helpful if it keeps us from danger. The problem is that many of the fears we have are manufactured by our thinking. We are not talking about actual dangerous situations but instead our perception of a situation that is, in reality, not considered dangerous.

People have 3 common responses to fear: fight, flee or freeze. These responses can keep people stuck in behaviors that don’t eliminate the fear. Dawn Huebner, a psychologist and expert on overcoming anxiety, says being afraid is not the same as being in danger. She’s written several books for children to help them deal with fear and she overcame her own fear of public speaking.

Here are some strategies to overcome those scary thoughts and anxious feelings. There is a technique called “flooding” in which people immerse themselves in whatever scares them the most. For example, if people have a fear of snakes, they will hold snakes and try to get used to them. This is a more “scary” way to get rid of fears, but when it works, it certainly happens quickly. A more “doable” method is taking small steps in the direction of the fear to move through it.

We often get into a negative cycle of “what ifs” that lead us to feel more fearful. To get over those scary feelings we need to also look at the positive “what ifs” that can happen when we take steps to confront the fear and overcome it. Also, distraction and mindfulness can help interrupt the fear cycle. When you listen to your fear and let it stop you, fear wins and gets stronger. Steve Maraboli said, “Fear is 100% dependent on you for its survival.” If you externalize the fear, talk back to it and confront it, it will shrink.

We met Nancy Guldberg, Master Gardener, and asked her about her fears and if she likes scary movies. Nancy said, “I only watch scary movies when my family makes me. I prefer movies that make me cry.” We could tell Nancy has a big heart. We also asked her if there were things in life that were scary for her and how she overcame them. She told us, “Probably many things, but the biggest one I remember is that I am not a swimmer and I had to go water skiing every summer to show the kids that there is nothing to be afraid of when you get in the water. So I skied every summer until my husband hurt his back skiing and then I was lucky enough that we got to stop skiing.” We thought her story shows how a mother’s love can help overcome fears.

How about you? What do you want to do about what scares you?

Here are some suggestions: Look at the fears you have. Which ones do you want to overcome? Use some of the ideas in this article to take steps to move through your fears. Jack Canfield said, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” When you face your fears and overcome them, you can have a more fulfilling life. Scarecrows probably don’t scare you but we would enjoy hearing how you faced what is truly scary for you and how you overcame it.

Chanhassen residents Doug and Lynn Nodland are Success Coaches and owners of The Balance Center. They can be contacted at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2018 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.