Say no or say yes – it’s your choice!

Are there some areas of your life that you feel could be better and you want to change? Most people, including us, have a few of those areas. There is only so much time in each day and most people want to live life to the fullest and thoroughly enjoy it.

As success coaches, we often ask people, “What do you want to say no to, so that you can say yes to something else.” Sometimes we get so busy that we follow routines without even thinking about how we want our life to be. Now, let’s take time to see if our life choices support our values and priorities. This could involve some big changes, like moving or changing jobs. It could also encompass some smaller changes, like watching less TV.

What keeps a behavior in place is that there are rewards, often immediate gratification. Actually, the strongest reward is intermittent reinforcement. That’s what fuels gambling! When the reward is strong enough or the negative consequences dire enough, then people make changes.

Here’s how Doug and I answered the question of what to say no to so we could say yes to something else. We admitted in a previous article that we want to say no to being such night owls. That would allow us to say yes to being well-rested in the morning. We realize that by not getting to bed earlier, we are violating our value of good health practices as a priority. So we will try to change bedtime to an earlier hour. Doug reminded me that Yoda says, “Do or do not, there is no try.” Earlier bedtime is a struggle for us but we will do it!

What about you? What do you want to say no to so you can say yes to something else? Is it just a want to change, or is it actually a need to change that can have serious consequences if not addressed? Do you notice how many people start eating better and exercising after they have their heart attack or their blood sugar rises off the scale? Are changes wants that will make life more fun and more comfortable, or are they needs that will make for a better, safer, healthier future?

We went out to ask other people what they wanted to change in their lives. We met Michelle Greening, a busy mom who was at Lake Susan Park with her son and a friend. When asked what she would like to say no to so she could say yes to something else, Michelle said, “I’d like to say no to cupcakes and yes to broccoli.” I told Michelle I thought that sounded like a tough one to do. Michelle agreed, “One cupcake at a time”. I think maybe she will also have to make that change one broccoli at a time. “Broccoli and a couple of carrot sticks”, she says. She would also like to say “no to [online] game time for the kids and yes to having more family time, getting outside and enjoying this beautiful weather here in Chanhassen.”

We also met Kent and Lynn Kurth as they were walking on the path along Lake Susan. We asked them the same question, “What would you like to say no to so that you could say yes to something else.” Kent offered, “We are right in the middle of home construction and I would say no to any more home construction updates so that I could say yes to more free time with the family. Lynn Kurth says, I would say no to having as much housework so then we could have more time with our family and friends.”

You can see that people we talked to shared some things they want to change by saying no to some things that are currently going on in their lives and saying yes to some new behaviors. Notice that for each of them, family is a priority. We wonder what you value and what you will say no to in your life so you can make the changes you want to make and any changes you may need to make. We would love to hear from you!

Here’s a challenge: We encourage you to take time to look at your priorities to help decide how you want your life to be. Then make changes by cutting out the things that you don’t want and embracing the things that will make your life better, healthier and happier. Remember, to say no or to say yes – it’s your choice!

Chanhassen residents Doug and Lynn Nodland are owners of The Balance Center. They can be contacted at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2017 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.