Resilience builds confidence and character!

How do you react when life presents you with a serious challenge or obstacle? And it always does. There are one of two divergent pathways people often take when confronted with a serious challenge. One, they can dig deep, muster up the resolve to do all they can to overcome the challenge. Or, two, they can feel completely overwhelmed and decide to give up. It can boil down to fight or flee.

One factor that can help influence this decision is resilience. What is resilience? Merriam Webster Dictionary defines resilience as “The ability to recover from, or adjust to, misfortune or change.” In other words, it’s the ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events.

One stunning event played out on live television recently to exemplify this point. You undoubtedly have heard about it by this time. In happened on Monday Night Football in a game between the Buffalo Bills and the Cincinnati Bengals. In the first quarter, Damar Hamlin, playing defensive safety for the Buffalo Bills, made what appeared to be a routine tackle of Tee Higgins who had just caught a pass for the Cincinnati Bengals. Hamlin got up after the tackle, adjusted his face mask and then collapsed flat on his back – and didn’t move.

Be immediately received CPR for over 9 minutes and a defibrillation device was used by team doctors to get his heart started before he was moved by ambulance to a hospital. It turns out he suffered from a cardiac arrest. The game was cancelled and won’t be replayed. Hamlin was in critical condition, sedated and on a ventilator for several days. When he regained consciousness, because he was still intubated, he had to communicate by writing. The doctors knew he was cognitively fully present, when he scribbled his first question on a clipboard, “Did we win?” Years ago, George Osborne was quoted as saying, “In football, as in politics, resilience pays off.” Little did Osborne realize then how pertinent his quote would be this past week, not only in football, but also in politics.

Hopefully none of us will have to incur the near-death experience of Hamlin to demonstrate our resilience. But sooner or later we’ll all experience traumatic or serious life challenges of one type or another. Change is a part of life, so the more resilient we are, the better equipped we’ll be to successfully overcome those challenges.

What can we do to become more resilient? The good news is that resilience is not necessarily an in-born trait, such as you either have it or you don’t. It’s something that can be learned and developed. Also, the consensus among researchers of this subject say that resilience develops as one overcomes obstacles and not just a result of one traumatic event. In other words, while a traumatic event can motivate you to make changes in your behaviors and actions, resilience is the result of that process.

We can see how resilience has helped Hamlin with his recent trauma. Football is a very physical sport. As Hamlin progressed from high school to college and then to the professional ranks, he endured and overcome, many challenges. This helped him to become resilient, achieve success, and survive!

Staying positive also helps to build resilience. This can be difficult, particularly when faced with serious difficulties. It can be helpful to recognize challenges as an opportunity to overcome obstacles and thus build resilience. As Joyce Meyer said, “We don’t grow when things are easy. We grow when we face challenges.”

It can also be helpful when facing life challenges to remember times in your past when you were faced with serious obstacles and how you were able to overcome them. This can provide the strength and confidence to do it again.

Finally, seek help from others. You don’t have to face challenges alone. There is no shame or stigma in asking for help. If fact, it is a sign of maturity. The common trait of people in the highest ranks of any profession is that they all have trusted advisors and coaches to help them when needed.

What about you? How can you become more resilient? Remember, challenges help to build resilience. Resilience helps to build confidence and character. Damar Hamlin has been a poster child for resilience this past week. On Sunday, less than one week after his cardiac arrest and near-death experience, he posted on Instagram these words, “God is using me in a different way today! Tell someone you love them today!” Wise words to remember – and put into action!

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2023 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.