Life lessons for overcoming fear

Have you ever been afraid? Of course, everyone has fear of something. Maybe your fear was over some smaller situation or maybe it involved a serious threat. Maybe you still have those fears. As success coaches we see how fear can stop people from achieving their best life .Just in case you have a few fears hanging around, we’ll share some strategies to help overcome them.

I (Lynn) learned something about overcoming fear when I was in a high school speech contest. I was really scared and told my mom that I wasn’t going to go. She knew I had something to learn and said, “Oh yes, you are going!” I insisted that I couldn’t go because I would fall flat on my face and everyone would laugh! She told me that if I fell down, then someone would pick me up, get me a drink of water and actually support me – and she assured me that no one would lose any sleep over it. Mom’s wisdom worked. I did go to the speech contest and it actually went well.

Mom, and that situation, taught me some important life lessons. Doug says that one lesson learned reminds him of a quote by Glennon Doyle Melton who says, “If you can’t beat fear, just do it scared.” Yes, I was scared but I did it anyway. The second lesson I learned was to reframe how I looked at the situation. Thinking all those negative thoughts definitely did not help my confidence. Instead, I decided to think positively and do what professional performers do – visualize doing an excellent job and being successful. The third lesson was that practice helps. Practice builds confidence and confidence lessens fear. So, at the speech contest I learned more important lessons than just how to give a speech.

Feeling fear in a speech contest is a lot different than the significant fears faced by many people or their loved ones, as they overcome major challenges. We wanted to find out what others had to share on the subject of overcoming fear.

We went to Lake Ann Park and met Alison Lang who was there with her two daughters. We asked Alison if she had overcome anything fearful and how she overcame it. Alison said, ”Yes, I had my first daughter seven years ago and I had preeclampsia and it was a big fear for me and my husband to try to have another child. We didn’t know if we would go through that situation all over again. After four years, we decided we wanted another sibling for my daughter and we were hoping it was a sister so they could have that sisterly bond. We got pregnant again and I actually did get preeclampsia again and I was in the hospital for thirty days.” I asked Alison what gave her the courage to have another child and she answered, “Having such great hospital staff and a great OB, she really helped me and talked me through my fears of what was going to happen and what couldn’t happen.”

Then we met Luke Rose at Lake Ann Park. He told us about a scary situation that happened to him in his classroom. “Last year one of my students came up to me and was doing the choking gesture. It was kind of overwhelming and I didn’t know if I needed to go for help or if I just needed to take care of the situation. I ended up doing the Heimlich maneuver and it came right up and came right out almost instantaneously. It was really neat to be in a situation like that. My adrenalin was pumping and it just kind of worked out. I didn’t think I’d be able to do something like that so it was really kind of neat to see it all go down and all play out. I was very happy and fortunate with the outcome there. I work for Minnetonka Aquatics and it was a couple of weeks earlier when we just went through training and life-guarding programs. We work with the life guards here and I was kind of refreshed on it. It was a great feeling [to help someone].”

The people we talked to relied on learning they received from professionals. They were prepared, able to overcome fear and to successfully handle serious situations. What about you? How do you deal with fear?

Here’s a challenge: We encourage you to assess the situations that could cause you fear. Then use strategies so you can overcome those fears and enjoy life more.

Chanhassen residents Doug and Lynn Nodland are owners of The Balance Center. They can be contacted at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2017 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.