How to stay positive when things turn negative!

One technique we used when the accident happened was to put it in perspective. It could have been worse. The doctor says no surgery. These injuries will heal. Although healing will certainly take time, and this is temporary. For situations, whether they are temporary or not, it’s important to look at what do we have control over.  What’s the plan and the solution?

To develop more positive thinking, we came across Tony Robbins, who has a positive thinking challenge. Robbins says, “The events of our lives don’t control our lives. Our decisions do.” He suggests doing seven days of positive thinking so it starts to become a habit. Some research shows that up to 70% of our daily thoughts are negative, so this can take some effort. Robbins talks about the The 7 Day Mental Diet booklet by Emmet Fox, which is a seven-day challenge to live each day without holding onto negative thoughts. This doesn’t mean you won’t have negative thoughts. The key is to set aside negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. We call it reframing.

Let’s look at what methods Tony Robbins uses to think more positively. He suggests five steps.

1. Be a creator of your own world by being in charge of your responses to life events. Every experience can have a physiological and neurological response, so choose how you will respond to life changes.  Here is a poignant verse from Harry Chapin’s song, “Changes”,
   “I sometimes think the difference
   is just how I think and see.
   And the only changes goin’ on
   are just goin’ on in me.”
   As you change and think more positively you may be surprised when more positive things show up in your life.
2. Focus on what’s right and not what’s wrong. Also, focus on what you have, instead of what you don’t have. Let go of negative thoughts to leave more room for positive ones. As Abraham Lincoln said, “We can all complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
3. Stop judging. Instead of judging yourself and others, just allow yourself to be curious. Take time to perceive more and judge less. Ask yourself, “What’s really going on.” Also, as Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.”  Be curious about what people have been through. Remember, the words from the Bible, “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.”
4. Look for, and find, things to appreciate. Develop the habit of giving compliments. Also, appreciate critical thinking about what’s not working. As you do this, it will be helpful to see what’s missing and what changes need to happen. It will also help you to clarify what’s most important to you. Denis Waitley says, “Virtually nothing on earth can stop a person with a positive attitude who has his/her goal clearly in sight.”
5. Allow yourself to not be perfect. Look at what you want to do and be and then just be a little better each day. Recognize that we all make mistakes. Learn from them. When you get off target, immediately get back on track. The only way you fail is if you quit. Remember Mahatma Gandhi’s wise words, “My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and talents.”

What about you? How do you stay positive when things turn negative? If a week-long positive challenge seems too daunting, start with just one day, or even a half day. We’ve found this challenge to be helpful.

Linda Poindexter describes it this way, “Sometimes life is like walking uphill…on stilts…carrying a bowling ball.” If you ever feel that way, we hope that positive thinking will help you enjoy the brighter side of life as you overcome the challenges you face on your life journey.

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2022 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.