How to develop more confidence

Have you ever wished you had more confidence? When people are confident they are more likely to stretch and reach for what they really want in life. We know the feeling of anxiety, especially when doing something for the first time, and how much better it feels to be confident. So we decided to share some ways to develop confidence to not only help with the challenges you face in life but also to help you go for your dreams.
One way to become more confident is to be around positive people who affirm you not only for what you do but also for who you are. When people support you and help you grow, you are in a safe environment and you can gain confidence and try new things.
However, what do you do if you are not around affirming, supportive people? The answer is that you have to encourage and affirm yourself. Actually, we talk to ourselves all the time. What you say to yourself makes a difference. You can easily discourage yourself through negative self-talk but the opposite is true also – you can easily encourage yourself, too. So, listen to what you say to yourself. Are you as supportive and affirming of you as you can be? If not, then tell yourself to stop and reverse it to the positive so you become your biggest cheerleader.
Doug has a story of life lessons he learned about confidence. “I was a junior in high school and entered in state competition to play an alto sax solo. I had memorized the solo well enough that I could play it at home without making a mistake. Yet, when I got to state competition, it was a lot more stressful playing in front of a critical judge. I got half-way through the song and my memory went blank as to what notes were next. I just stopped! I walked off the stage, feeling totally humiliated. I could have told myself to quit but instead, I encouraged myself to try again. So, the next year, to ensure that same failure would not happen, I didn’t wait until the last minute to really learn the song. Instead, I practiced diligently ahead of time. My efforts paid off! I received the highest score in the competition! What a difference from the year before! I learned the value of positive self-talk and preparation to boost my confidence.” Professional tennis player, Arthur Ashe, said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” Doug says preparation is the key to confidence for him in many areas of his life. He could have just quit but instead he tried again and used positive self-talk to encourage himself to thoroughly prepare to succeed.
We went out to talk to some people about what they do to gain more confidence. We met Hannah Johnson, from Victoria, who was shopping in Chanhassen. She’s on the board for the Chaska Valley Family Theatre. We asked her if she had a time when she wished she had more confidence and she responded, “Of course I have. Something that’s really difficult for me is addressing a large group of people, a big meeting or an assembly. Those are things that many people have to do.” Then we asked her how she boosts her confidence. She shared, “Something that really helps me is to remember that, pretty much, everybody in that room is rooting for me. They’ve all been there and we’re all working together for a common goal.”
Then we met Margaret Thom, from Chaska, who is working in Chanhassen. When asked how she boosts her confidence she answered, “I have a lot of people around me who boost my confidence every day. In high school, teachers would give me more confidence to do better, to always make myself and personality better. I have co-workers who also help me have confidence and parents definitely help. Just being yourself can help you boost your confidence.”
Notice how what you hear from others as well as what you say to yourself, affects your confidence.
Here’s a challenge: First, recognize that everyone has times of doubt and the need to boost confidence. What are you telling yourself? To boost your self-confidence, make your self-talk positive and affirming. Also, choose to be around others who support and affirm you as well. Prepare, practice and don’t give up. You can do it! We would love to hear from you as to how you boosted your confidence to meet your challenges and to reach your dreams.
Chanhassen residents Doug and Lynn Nodland are Success Coaches and owners of The Balance Center. They can be contacted at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2017 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.