How is anxiety influencing your life?

Have you ever felt anxious? If you answered ‘yes’ to that question, you’re certainly not alone. Everyone can feel anxious. That’s not surprising because life can be anxiety-provoking, especially in today’s world.

What is anxiety? There’s a saying by an unknown writer who describes anxiety this way, “Anxiety is like a toddler. It never stops talking, tells you that your wrong about everything, and wakes you up at 3 am.” Anxiety is often a word we use for fears we might have about something that could go wrong in the future. Both fear and serious anxiety can have similar effects on our body and mind. Our heart beats faster, our breathing increases, our muscles get tense. This can help us act quickly where there is a real and present danger. We have been programmed to react to fear in this way since our early beginnings. It helps to keep us safe.

I, Doug, will share a situation where I experienced some anxiety. It was last December. Our daughter was flying in from out of town. It was nighttime and the freeway was glare ice. I was “white knuckling” it as I drove to the airport to pick her up. I definitely felt anxious about the situation. I could feel the tenseness in my body as I drove.

I was creeping along with the traffic when my worst fear became realized. Ahead of me, a car spun out of control, crossed over two lanes of traffic, bounced off the center cement median and hit me broadside! I survived, but our car didn’t! Welcome to winter in Minnesota! Many of you may relate to the anxiety caused by those weather conditions. This is an example of anxiety caused by a specific situation – the extreme icy road conditions. It’s isolated to a particular event.

But anxiety can also be a nagging everyday feeling. We may not be able to always pinpoint the reason for it. There are many situations that can ‘trigger’ those feelings. Often, it’s related to a sense of insecurity. For example, we may feel insecure about our future. We may feel anxiety about finances, relationships, or health. There can be a multitude of reasons.

I, Lynn, had the kind of anxiety that was about the future. I was to be in a speech contest in high school. I practiced, but as the date of the contest approached, I got so anxious that I told my mom that I wasn’t going to do it. I feared I would collapse. Mom encouraged me to feel the fear and do it anyway. It worked out well and I learned the value of confronting anxieties.

Why do we have the same physical reactions as our early ancestors when we aren’t in any real physical danger? For example, anxiety can show up as an irregular heart rate, increased breathing, tenseness in our body. We may become irritable, have trouble sleeping. We may have difficulty concentrating. As stated earlier, we’ve been programmed to react to danger, real or perceived. The difference is we can’t solve our feelings of insecurity by running away from them or physically attacking them like our early ancestors could!

So, how can we overcome our feelings of anxiety if they are persistent? It’s best to confront anxiety-provoking situations because if they are avoided, the anxiety tends to grow. Also, if there are many things contributing to anxiety, it can be difficult to confront all of them. Then sometimes people might have panic attacks because they feel trapped with anxiety that has escalated to fear. Even though there are several good treatments, they worry they’ll never be able to relax and be happy again,

Here are some more ways to help overcome anxiety. Exercise can be helpful. Relax by incorporating deep breathing, meditation, massage, yoga, and mindfulness techniques. Also, prayer can be calming. Plus, participating in faith groups can provide a supportive network. Volunteering helps people to connect with something bigger than themselves. Rather than ruminating about it, Walter Anderson says, “Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” There are also many good books on how to overcome anxiety. Therapy can be helpful if anxiety persists.

What about you? Take time to assess your anxious feelings. How is anxiety influencing your life? Is anxiety helping you to feel safe or is it keeping you from taking advantage of new opportunities and having a joyous life? We encourage you to use the ideas provided here so your anxiety level can help you design your life to be the best it can be. Also, then it won’t wake you up at 3 am!

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2023 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.