Help for the holidays: Do less and enjoy more

Are the holidays stressful or joyful for you? We recognize that sometimes holidays are stressful. There’s less light, more depression and anxiety. Maybe you have lost friends or family members and holidays won’t be the same without them. At times, relationships can flare up as people with different views get together in lively “discussions”. Also, there are so many different things to do – cooking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping presents, decorating, traveling and more. We get tired just thinking about it. So, we wanted to share some things you can consider doing to lower stress and have more enjoyable holidays.

The first thing you can do is to actually do less and enjoy more. Decide what’s important and say “no” to some things. Look for ways to simplify while still keeping meaningful traditions. Have realistic expectations. Keep your routine and take good care of yourself. Take walks and listen to some relaxing music. Let go of perfectionism. Remember what the season is about. It’s certainly not supposed to be the season to celebrate stress.

We went to the festive Minnesota Landscape Arboretum to ask some people what they do to make the holidays less stressful and more enjoyable.

We met Eric Cahill who shared, “For me, it’s a lot of family activity going on so there’s not too much [stress] but a little bit with presents and social expectations. It comes down to the choice of how much stress you wish to take on. I prefer to be a little more laid back, so stress is not really bad.”

Then we talked with Eric’s grandparents, Dr. Curt and Cathy Paulsen from Chanhassen. Curt offered, “What’s stressful is just the amount to be done. It takes a lot of effort and a lot of time. What’s joyful though, what takes so much time and so much effort, is largely based on ritual. Ritual reminds us of prior times, so there’s a connection with our forefathers, our people that went on before us. If we can think of the ritual as not being a lot of work but as connecting – the connection reduces stress.” We understood that it’s how you think about it. Curt agreed, “Absolutely, and I don’t think it has to be so much, it just has to fulfill the ritual.” When asked how he reduces stress, he answered, “For me, staying active physically. I work out with some regularity but it may just be a walk around the park. It may be just getting out of the house and walking to the mailbox to reduce the activity in the brain, and nature does that.”

Then we asked Cathy what’s joyful and what’s stressful about the holidays and what she does to have good holidays. She shared, “I think it’s a combination of joy and stress that I experience. My stress level regarding Christmas changed quite dramatically in 1994 when I went to Israel for three weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Going to Nazareth, Jerusalem, Bethlehem and touring around Israel and seeing all those wondrous locations and then coming home to Christmas, brought home for me what Christmas is really about. Ever since then I have less expectation of myself as far as hopping on this treadmill of frenzied activity and expectation and appreciating more just being with friends and family and thinking back to loved-ones, the years that those who have departed were with us, how they influenced us and what they gave. I’ve always considered that trip to Israel a tremendous gift to help me be instead of do at Christmas. By being instead of doing, I find the stress level has changed greatly.”

We enjoyed talking to some people to get their thoughts about the holidays and they shared helpful ideas for lowering stress and helping the holidays to be more joyful. What about you? Are the holidays stressful or joyful for you?

Here’s a challenge: Decide how you want the holidays to be. You always have a choice about what to do and not do and also about how you want to think about the holidays. You are not alone. Reach out for connection and help, if needed. Remember the reason for the season. Your presence in being with those you love is the most precious gift you can give, much more important than the presents you buy and wrap. In a few short weeks the holidays will be over. Doing less of the busyness allows time for being with meaningful relationships and traditions that will help you to enjoy the holidays more.

Chanhassen residents Doug and Lynn Nodland are Success Coaches and owners of The Balance Center. They can be contacted at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2017 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.