Every day can be a thanks-giving day!

How can you make Thanksgiving a special day? Most of us know what it feels like to really “click” with people and to enjoy warmth and acceptance from others. Many people will be getting together with friends and family to share enjoyable times and good food. Thanksgiving Day can be a wonderful time of coming together but for some people it can also be a day for “coming apart”.

People can feel that they are “coming apart” when they are stressed with entertaining and it seems that there is too much to do, too much to eat and it can feel like there’s just too much of everything. Expectations and society say that families should love each other, get along and enjoy being together. When that doesn’t happen, family members can feel like their families are “coming apart”. Hurts from the past can surface and even small talk can seem difficult. If people don’t get along, they can feel like while they’re eating turkey, they’re also walking on eggshells. When these feelings arise, it’s hard to enjoy the day and remember to be thankful.

Maybe we are dreamers, but we hope and pray for a time when divisions and differences can be bridged so love and peace can grow. Let’s look at forgiveness, acceptance and appreciation as three ways we can each use to help make Thanksgiving Day more enjoyable and to contribute to making every day a thanks-giving day.

Forgiveness: Perhaps the first thing we need to do is to have a spirit of forgiveness. Forgiveness for hurtful things that have been done to us and forgiveness for certain acts of love and concern that were left undone. We are all human and imperfect so it’s important to forgive others and to forgive oneself. Marianne Williamson has a powerful quote, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and expecting the other person to die.” Letting go of resentment and anger can bring inner peace.

Acceptance: It’s important to accept people even if we don’t always agree with them. Family members can sometimes be the hardest to accept because, at times, they say and ask some strange things. Avoid negative thoughts about family members that could end up ruining your day. Instead, focus on the positives because what you look for, you will find.

Appreciation: Another way to grow relationships and have an enjoyable Thanksgiving is to show appreciation for others. Expressing appreciation and specifically mentioning why you appreciate the person makes it more meaningful. Another benefit is that often those good feelings of appreciation are reciprocated.

We realize that when we practice forgiveness, acceptance and appreciation in our lives, we are more open to having positive feelings, recognizing our blessings and giving thanks every day.

We met Dick and Carolyn Shell from Chanhassen and asked them how they made Thanksgiving meaningful. Carolyn said, “Well, we moved to Minnesota from Texas to be near grandkids for holidays. We like to be together for Thanksgiving because it’s a family time.” Dick added, “I always love Thanksgiving. November is kind of a grungy month. All of the leaves have fallen off the trees and everything is sort of brown and grey. But Thanksgiving is normally this joyous family occasion with good food and good friends so it’s a good counterpoint to a very grungy month.” Carolyn shared, ”Speaking of food, we always have turkey and dressing and it’s cornbread dressing because we’re from Texas, and pecan pie.” Referring to the cornbread dressing, Dick chimed in, “Y’all don’t understand that up here.” They both said that they have a lot to be thankful for. In talking with them earlier, they also mentioned that they have a new (3-week-old) grandbaby and that’s definitely something to be thankful for.

What about you? What are you thankful for?

Here are some ideas for you to consider: How can you incorporate forgiveness, acceptance and appreciation to have a more meaningful Thanksgiving Day? If you are not with loved ones, it’s helpful to let go of how Thanksgiving ought to be and just think of Thanksgiving as a time to be thankful. What are some things to be thankful for now in your life? Make Thanksgiving Day the best it can be for you by taking time to enjoy and be grateful for what was, is now and the possibilities of the future. There are always things to be thankful for. We want you to know we are thankful for you! Remember, every day can be a thanks-giving day!

Chanhassen residents Doug and Lynn Nodland are Success Coaches and owners of The Balance Center. They can be contacted at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2018 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.