Trust – an important cornerstone of good relationships

What does trust mean to you? Because trust is an important cornerstone of relationships, we wanted to share some of the factors that help to develop trust.

Actually, our toaster got us thinking about trust. What, you say, the toaster? Yes, we had a relationship with our toaster for thirty years and it made perfect toast every day. We trusted that toaster! It brought to mind some of the important facets of trust which are consistency, dependability and predictability. Whether a situation or person is consistently positive or negative, it’s predictable. You prepare your mind for it and you trust that it probably will not change.

However, things did change with our old toaster and one day it actually started on fire! Fortunately, we were in the room, quickly pulled the plug and the fire went out. The lesson we noted from this incident is that things can change and you can’t always trust things to go as planned. In other situations, the ramifications can be much more serious than what happens with a toaster.

Imagine a relationship that has been good for 30 years (or maybe even just a few months) and suddenly it goes bad. If that happens, sometimes people will find it difficult to trust again. Part of the reason for their skepticism is they may no longer trust other people. They might even look for the negatives in a relationship to prove that no one can be trusted. At times, being cautious is helpful to avoid untrustworthy people and situations, but when it is taken too far, this apprehension may hold people back from enjoying opportunities for good relationships that can rebuild their trust.

Another thing that can happen if people have had a series of bad situations, is that they begin to lose trust in themselves. Psychologically, the mind tends to hang on to negative happenings more strongly and longer than positive happenings. It takes a lot of learning on the positive side to counteract negative thoughts and memories. It is critical that people learn to trust themselves, or to regain that trust if they have lost it, because it will affect their decision-making abilities. People want to feel that they are capable of making good life choices.

We sometimes take trust for granted. We drive down the road trusting that other drivers are awake, alert and conscientious. We trust that the plane we board will make it to our destination and that the pilot is skilled in flying. As we thought more about trust, we realized that trust is the cornerstone of every relationship and situation. Think how important it is to be able to trust the people who give you advice about your life such as your doctor, attorney, or financial advisor. In business, having trustworthy leaders and coworkers can help make a business more successful. Being honest, respectful and caring encourages trust. Notice how imperative it is that you be able to trust the people around you, your friends and family. When you feel you can trust people and situations, it will help you to feel safe.

We shared some ideas about trust and we wanted to find out what some other people would say about the importance of trust. We talked to Chanhassen residents Bill and Judy Handke. Judy shared, “Well, I think trust is very important. A person has to be able to trust other people, God and themselves, to live a joyful, fully-rounded life.” Bill offered this thoughts, “I think that if you trust somebody, it lets you communicate with them because you can let down your guard. You can have easier communication with that person because you can relax. I just think it helps with person-to-person relationships.” Then we asked Bill and Judy how to build trust. Bill said, “It has to be earned and you do that by showing that you have the person’s back and that you are not going to attack them in any way, physically or emotionally – by being there for them, for one another.” Judy added, “It’s wonderful to have other people that you trust. It makes your life so much better.”

Bill and Judy shared their ideas about trust. We wonder, what does trust mean to you?

Here’s a challenge: Assess how you feel about the relationships in your life. Where is there trust and where is it lacking? Work on making any necessary changes so you can have trust in yourself and be surrounded with good relationships that have trust as a cornerstone. We would enjoy hearing your thoughts about trust.

Chanhassen residents Doug and Lynn Nodland are Success Coaches and owners of The Balance Center. They can be contacted at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2018 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.