What are you tolerating in your life?

What are you tolerating in your life that you want to change? What got us thinking about this subject is that some hinges on our kitchen cupboards were old and doors would no longer close tightly. We also noticed a kitchen chair was coming apart at the joints and every day we would just give it a whack to get it back in shape before sitting on it. Now maybe you are fortunate enough to not have any little things you’ve been tolerating in your life but we have a feeling that if you look around you might recognize a few. There may be bigger things in life that people tolerate such as disrespect, a job they hate, not living where they want to be or an unhappy relationship. We hope that if there are big things you are tolerating, that you get them handled.

What we put up with are called ”tolerations”. Some are bigger tolerations and some are smaller tolerations we have intended to fix but we just don’t get around to handling them. These might include a shirt with a missing button, clutter piled on a desk or a tire that has a slow leak. If avoided long enough, some of these will get bigger and eventually demand attention. Others will just hang around giving you little bits of inconvenience.

So why is it important to take care of the things you are tolerating? Actually, it’s important to handle them because they all cause some level of stress. The more things you are tolerating and the depth of their meaning to you, is like carrying a weight around with you – the bigger the tolerations, the heavier the weight. Also, the heavier the weight, the more time and energy you have to use to deal with them.

We decided to make a list of ten things we are tolerating and then just start getting rid of them. Actually, we could come up with more but we didn’t want the list to seem overwhelming. Some, like clean out old clothes from the closet and repot several plants might take more time but some of them, like gluing the chair, really don’t take much time at all. We realized as we made the list that it is helpful to look at our list from a couple of different perspectives. One thing we considered is how important it was to take care of the toleration from the standpoint of the positive that would result from the change. Another way to look at the list is to see what things could be done quickly and then checked off the list. You may have other considerations you come up with if you decide to get rid of some of your tolerations.

We went out to see what other people would say about tolerations and what they want to change. We met Monica Griak. When asked what she wants to change she said, “Time management – being able to provide quality time with my family and friends and being able to still get my work done. Still being able to read and do those nice quiet things that help everyone out. I would have more time to help out my elderly mother-in-law, more time to babysit my four year old grandson, and then just more quiet time.”

Then we met Emma Thiel and asked her what she is tolerating in her life and doesn’t want to put up with any more. Emma answered, “I’m currently a senior in high school and I am tolerating a lot of stress right now that I would like to get rid of. Stress with college decisions, homework and all that.” We asked what it will feel like when she doesn’t have that stress on her. Emma said, “It will be a relief when I have it all done and figured out. I can do more with my life when that’s not on me.” She said she would have more fun. Then we asked if she is presently taking any steps to help her tolerate her stressful time and have less stress. Emma shared, “Well, definitely praying a lot helps me with the stress. I take time to do that every day.”
When we talked to Monica and Emma they shared what things they have tolerated and want to change and we have our list. And what about you? What are you tolerating?

Here’s a challenge: We encourage you to make a list of your tolerations. As you get rid of what you are tolerating in your life, you will be freed up to have more energy and joy.

Chanhassen residents Doug and Lynn Nodland are Success Coaches and owners of The Balance Center. They can be contacted at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2017 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.