Nurturing: Sometimes it’s the little things that count!

We’ve been planting some flowers recently. We got some green spike plants that are about ten inches tall to put in the middle of the pots of flowers. As we planted them, we looked at each other and laughed because the last few winters we brought the spikes inside and now those “baby” spikes are about five feet tall! Those spikes grew so big because they received the right amount of what they needed to grow and flourish. In other words, we nurtured them and what you nurture thrives. We see that nurturing is also important in the animal kingdom, with human relationships and even with business.

As a psychologist and success coaches, we have learned about the effects of nurturing. A study showed that when baby monkeys weren’t nurtured, they didn’t thrive, even though they were given food, milk and what they supposedly needed. Humans also need nurturing. When people care about each other, they find ways to nurture each other. Even in the business world, organizations are successful and thrive when their employees and customers are nurtured.

What does it mean to nurture? To nurture means to support and encourage and, in some cases, to provide guidance. Nurturing can be shown through words and also through actions.

How can you nurture people in personal and business relationships? Here are some ideas. Do something special without being asked. Be a good listener and have respectful, affirming conversations. Simply looking at people and giving them your full attention helps them to feel special. Sometimes touch is important, a warm handshake or a hug, whatever is appropriate. Encouraging the deepest aspirations of people will help them feel supported. Ken Blanchard, in his book, The One Minute Manager, says to catch people doing something right and praise them immediately. Affirmation and encouragement nurtures people in both business and personal life.

There are many other ways to nurture, so the key is to ask the other person, “What do I do, or what could I do, to help you feel valued and nurtured?” I (Lynn) asked Doug that question. One of the things Doug said is, “You make my breakfast”. Wow, that’s pretty easy! I am glad I asked and I’ll do it each morning – for sure! When it comes to nurturing, sometimes it’s the little things that count and doing them consistently is the key. Those green spike plants would not have thrived with only one drink of water.

We went out to see what nurturing means to some other people. We met Stephen Soderstrom, from Chaska, who was going to take a swim at Lake Ann. He shared that nurturing, “certainly means to be cared for, to be loved, and appreciated. I think in our family, my wife is definitely the nurturer. She is the one who takes care of the entire crew. I don’t think that any of us could operate without the work, the effort and the care that she puts in for our family. So, I would say that we feel cared for, we feel love and it is the little things that Kelly does for our family that we appreciate so much.”

Then we met Rhonda Priem and her daughter Julia, from Chanhassen, as they walked the path in Lake Susan Park. Here’s what nurturing means to Julia. “Obviously I think of my mother first. I think that nurturing is not only having needs met. When I think of nurturing, I think more of another person or having someone to nurture you and for myself to nurture someone else.”

Rhonda said, “When thinking about nurturing, I think of a mother and a child and a family sort of structure and even friends. It’s how you treat one another in a tender way and in a way that makes them feel that they are nurtured and not just in your own way, but their way as well.”

In talking with these people, we saw that their nurturing came from family members. They mentioned some of the little things that count. If you don’t have a nurturing family member, we encourage you to find someone such as a friend or mentor who can nurture you so you feel cared for and thrive.

Here’s a Challenge: What are you doing to nurture others? Also, what can you do to nurture yourself? Everyone needs nurturing and sometimes it’s the little things that count to make you or someone else feel cared for and happy. We wish you the best! We would enjoy hearing from you as to how you are nurturing others and yourself.

Chanhassen residents Doug and Lynn Nodland are owners of The Balance Center. They can be contacted at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2017 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.