Healthy relationships help make healthy hearts

How healthy is your heart? Many of you have probably seen a man in a TV commercial where he asks that question to different people on the street. No matter how they respond, he says something like, “How do you know? It’s not like you have an engine light telling you how healthy your heart is.” That commercial was promoting a personal, portable EKG machine to help you monitor your heart condition.

It’s always important to know if you have a healthy heart. It’s particularly pertinent this month because February is National Heart Health Month. Heart disease continues to be the leading cause of death in America. Last year, the Center for Disease Control reported that in the United States, someone dies from cardiovascular disease every 34 seconds! When we talk about heart health, we all know the importance of diet and exercise. However, there is something else that is not talked about a lot that can have a big impact on the health of your heart. That ‘something’ is the quality of your relationships.

Unhealthy relationships can lead to an unhealthy heart. We’ve all heard expressions like, “My heart is hurting” or “I have a heavy heart” or “It broke my heart”. These verbal expressions are often shared when relationships are not going well. Bad relationships can contribute to depression and insomnia. This can increase many stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenalin that can negatively affect the heart. There can also be increased cognitive decline and even an increased rate of mortality. That’s why Karen Salmansohn said, “Letting go of toxic people is an act of self-care.”

This information correlates with what I (Lynn) found when I was getting my doctorate in psychology with a behavioral medicine specialty. I did a study at the Minneapolis Heart Institute and Abbott Northwestern Hospital. That study revealed that poor relationships correlated with negative recovery from cardiovascular disease. Other studies correlated healthy relationships with improved recovery rates from cardiovascular disease.

This makes sense because healthy relationships promote love and peace in life and the release of stress-reducing hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine. These hormones have a beneficial effect on a person’s heart health. Also, having a supportive partner or friend can provide social support and act as a buffer against stress. Plus, when people have a loving relationship, there’s often a greater sense of purpose and well-being.

An article from Northwestern Medicine states that “Having health relationships makes a bigger impact on avoiding early death than taking blood pressure medication.” They’re not saying to stop taking medication but instead encouraging people to develop some good, healthy, social relationships, even if they may prefer more solitude.

So, what are some attributes of healthy relationships? Here are just a few. There is healthy, open, and honest communication. People listen to and respect each other, even when they have different perspectives. They feel they can trust each other with anything. They engage in healthy activities together, while still understanding when they each need individual time to themselves. They share appropriate touch and affection. People also benefit by having a good relationship with themselves as they care for others.

In good relationships, people enjoy fun, humor and activities together. Another important attribute is that people in the relationship are able to say, “I’m sorry” and also forgive when they’ve been hurt. When people can let go of past hurts and work toward an improved relationship in the future, they are doing much to promote a good relationship and a healthy heart.

A familiar saying is, “Never let the sun go down on your anger.” This is sometimes difficult to do but doing so can not only result in better relationships but also better sleep. We have a ritual each night before we go to bed – we tell each other, “I love you.” If you are living alone, you can always think about people you love and send that message to them, not only in your mind, but also through a text message or phone call. Also, praying for loved ones can help develop a feeling of being close to them.

What about you? Do you know if your heart is healthy? If you don’t know, we encourage you to find out through professional assessment. We also encourage you to assess the relationships you have so they support you having a healthy heart.  As Henry Van Dyke said, “A friend is what the heart needs all the time.” Appreciate the relationships that are good and look to build new ones where needed. Remember, healthy relationships help make for healthy hearts.

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2023 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.