Finding positives in the midst of adversity

When we decided to write about the positives of adversity, we had to take some time to really look at how there are positives. We got to thinking about times in our life when we faced adversity. When you’re in the middle of the adversity, all you can think is “get me out of this.” However, we’ll tell you about a time when we were able to overcome the adversity and look back to see the positives. As Napoleon Hill said, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”

Here’s the story of what happened in our family at the beginning of the pandemic.  Doug’s mom was in an apartment with assisted-living amenities. In normal times, that worked out well. The facility was close by, she got some assistance, good meals and we could go see her regularly.  When the pandemic forced rules to change, we learned that we couldn’t go see her anymore. Maybe you experienced the same rules if you had a loved-one in a care center during that time.

We realized that wouldn’t work well for her, nor for us. We wanted to see her often and make her life as good as possible. So, we decided to move her to our home where we could care for her. The facility caregivers advised against doing this because we might not be able to provide the amount of care she would need. When it came time to move her, the facility wouldn’t allow anyone to come in to help Doug move her things, including furniture because of the restrictions that were in place. Fortunately, we had some good friends who helped once the belongings were outside the facility.

We brought her to our home. Was it hard? Yes, but it was beautiful, too. She passed away peacefully here a few months later. You may be thinking, ‘What were the positives of that adversity?’ Some of the positives were that we were able to spend a lot of very precious time with her. She taught us how to live and die with dignity. We learned sad stories of her surviving a previous pandemic. We also heard many happy stories about some of her life experiences. We learned how to be more patient and better caregivers. Hopefully, we learned to be better people.  Barbara De Angelis puts it this way, “We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”

We learned the truth of the proverb that says, “Every cloud has a silver lining”. It’s during those times that you identify what’s most important to you. You learn that you have wonderful friends and family members that will help and that you’re not alone. It’s not easy to do, but embracing adversity to see the positives will help you get through it more easily. Here’s what might also help.

First, be prepared and “expect the unexpected.” If you stay aware of what is happening in the world and around you, you can sometimes anticipate what’s coming. Perhaps based on what they had experienced in life, including wars and storms, both of our parents were prepared by having sufficient food on hand, as well as being prepared for other contingencies.

Maybe we get too comfortable thinking that we can always run to the store and get whatever we need. We can’t always have everything we need on hand, but we can have a positive mindset, and that’s not something you run to the store to get.

A positive mindset often comes from faith in your Higher Power and prayer. It also comes from developing good relationships, so you feel supported. Then you know there are people who will help you and they know you will also be there for them. It comes down to commitment to never give up. Howard Schultz said, “In times of adversity and change, we really discover who we are and what we’re made of.”

When you’re facing adversity, you will learn many new things and you may have to change course. But when you are committed to a successful outcome and take action, God and the Universe come alongside to help you.

What about you? As you reflect on adversity, what are some of the positives that you discovered from what you have overcome? We agree with Dieter F. Uchtdort when he said, “It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life story will develop.” The irony is that overcoming adversity may be what helps you realize an even more meaningful and successful life.

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2022 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.