How to lower stress by having more patience!

How patient are you? We all get impatient at times. For many people, the last couple of years have been trying our patience. Yes, we have been forced to adjust to the many changes that have occurred. This can contribute to being impatient. In this fast-paced world, we have also become used to instant gratification.

We are spoiled by convenience. We can order almost anything and it can show up on our doorstep within a day. What a change from when our parents were young. Then it could take weeks to receive something that was ordered from a catalogue.

Some cultures are not used to getting what they want right away. They may have to walk long distances just to get the basics such as food and water. This probably helps them to become patient because they definitely have to put considerable effort in just to get their needs met. They can’t just make a short phone call and have it delivered. Oaas Shoukat quotes a Pakistani saying, “The fruit of patience is always sweet.”

One consequence of having many of our needs met instantaneously, is that it’s easier to become impatient. There was a study done in 2009 that showed that when people called an emergency number, the people often hung up if the call took longer than two minutes to be answered. Ironically this caused it to take even longer before they got help.

In another study in 2012 involving internet users, how long do you think people waited for a video to load? Actually, many gave up after only two seconds! When it took ten seconds, half the viewers gave up.

We find that as we Google something, we can get millions of answers within a fraction of a second. Even though it may be fast, it doesn’t always give us what we want. Have you ever caught yourself being impatient with your computer? Maybe you’ve even said a few “unpleasant” words to it!

Life seems to push on, encouraging us to expect more in less time. Why would it be important to become more patient? What we realize is that becoming impatient not only leads to mental anguish, anxiety and frustration, it can also lead to physical illness such as high blood pressure and heart disease.

So how can we learn to be more patient? Here are three ways.

1. Identify what makes you feel impatient. For example, if you find yourself impatient while standing in line, take your attention away from the frustration you are feeling. Instead, become curious about the people around you. You may find that your attitude of patience may rub off on other people. As Joyce Meyer said, “Patience is not simply the ability to wait, it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.”
2. Recognize what’s in your control and what isn’t. There are some things that you may not be able to change, such as noise in the environment. You can always change your reaction to something and your perception of it. Mahatma Gandhi said, “To lose patience is to lose the battle.”
3. Do a relaxation scan as to where you are feeling your impatience. For instance, is it in your jaw, your shoulders or is it in your gut? Let go of stress. As Edmund Burke said, “Our patience will achieve more than our force.” Slow breathing from the diaphragm, plus prayer and meditation can be helpful

In researching patience, we came across people who had terrible accidents and had to learn how to be patient with the results of those accidents. They had to become patient with themselves. This reminds us what Saint Francis deSales said, “Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself.” Whether you’ve experienced an accident or tragedy, or made some mistakes in your life. Be kind to yourself, none of us are perfect.

What about you? What areas of patience do you want to work on? We all have some. Remember the Chinese proverb, “One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.” We hope that as you gain more feelings of patience, it will help you lower stress and bring even more peace and joy to your life.

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2022 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.