How stories we tell ourselves can shape our lives

How are stories important for your life? There are many ways that stories play a part in our lives. We got to thinking about this subject when we did a talk recently on the ways stories affect our lives. We tell ourselves stories about things that happen to us and then those stories can shape our lives.

Have you ever thought about how our life is like a book of stories? The stories we tell ourselves everyday will often reveal how successful our life will be. This is because our mind believes what we tell it. Earl Nightingale, radio personality from years ago, wrote The Strangest Secret, which has been called one of the greatest motivational books of all-time. Doug’s Uncle Jory, who worked with Nightingale, came to the grandparent’s house years ago with a recording of the book and announced, “You gotta hear this!” The family gathered around, sat on the floor and listened to the recording. Nightingale compared our minds to the soil. The soil doesn’t care what you plant, it merely returns what you plant. If you plant corn, you will get corn but if you plant nightshade, a poisonous plant, you will get nightshade.

In the same way, we have a choice what to plant in our mind, a positive or a negative story about things that happen. Here’s an example, I (Lynn) was out shopping and saw a friend. Usually she is very friendly but she walked right by without saying a word. At that point, I have a choice of telling myself a negative story that she didn’t want to talk to me or a positive story that she was just focused on something and she didn’t even see me. If we plant negative stories in our mind, it produces negative results. If we plant positive stories, we are more likely to grow positive results. Nightingale said, “You become what you think about.”

We met Mary Jo Lindquist, Chanhassen resident who was walking her dog, Buddy, at Lake Ann Beach. We asked Mary Jo how communication and stories play a role in her work. She shared, ”I am a hospice nurse. Communication is primary to talk the family and the patient through the process. It can be an amazing end-of-life journey. I’m so privileged to walk it out with so many people. I thought I’d cry every day but I don’t. People have fought the good fight and now they’re ready to end their journey in comfort and peace. That’s my job to bring comfort and to guide the family through it as best I can. I see some amazing beautiful endings”

We mentioned to Mary Jo that we imagined she probably heard lots of stories. She shared, “That’s my favorite part, to hear how people lived. What was their favorite thing to do, what they love, what they don’t like. A lot of times they’ll tell amazing stories, their journey. I love, love, love that part of it. Just to get to know them and their family. The families tell stories, too. When it comes to the point that the patient can’t talk any more, they gather around and share great stories they have and we laugh and we cry. I just love to be a part of that.” We felt it was a deep, wonderful way that Mary Jo gives of herself to others.

Mary Jo has a difficult and important job because she cares for the person who is passing and also the family. Mary Jo said, “It doesn’t feel hard. It feels just right – where I’m supposed to be. I love hospice.” Mary Jo communicates with all involved to meet their needs and listens to their life stories in the process. We thanked Mary Jo for being the angel she is and for all the good she’s doing.

We see how important it is for people to share their stories, even up to the end of their life and how stories bring families together during times of transition. The stories we tell ourselves and how we live them out, can shape our lives and contribute to the stories that become our legacy.

What about you? What stories are you telling yourself?

Here are some ideas: Take time to notice how you interpret events in your life. Try to be as positive as you can, even when situations are difficult. As Nightingale said, “You become what you think about.” Take care what stories you plant in your mind so your life journey will be fruitful and satisfying.

Chanhassen residents Doug and Lynn Nodland are Success Coaches and owners of The Balance Center. They can be contacted at WeCare@SharingLifesLessons.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2019 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.